Returning to My First Love

I’ve been told that pulling a Bible verse out of context for interpretation is a no-no, and I wholeheartedly agree. But for application? I say “yes-yes”… especially when the Holy Spirit whispers it in my ear.

Today, I was meditating (daydreaming) about the weekly writing challenge at FaithWriters.com and my desire to start entering regularly again.

FaithWriters is the sole reason “Catrina Bradley, Writer” exists today. When I joined the FW community in September 2006, I hadn’t written anything creative since high school. Today, I am a published author. I owe my comeback, or more accurately my rebirth, to FaithWriters and the FW family.

But somewhere along the road from 2006 to 2012, I drifted away from my FW family and into the Facebook vortex.

“Return to your first love,” whispered my subconscious.

I miss FW, and I miss the communal excitement encompassing writing for the challenge


It occurred to me that when my participation at FaithWriters started faltering, my writing as a whole stopped growing. At times, it has threatened to retreat altogether. Crafting, editing, and completing a story has become a chore.

“Return to your first love.”

Yes, return to the source of my passion for writing: the fountain of encouragement and love that springs from FaithWriters.

“Return to your first love.”

When I joined the site, the weekly writing challenge was on break, and spent that time delving into the website, reading past contest entries and winners, studying the FAQ’s, and getting to know the other members. I entered my first FaithWriters challenge the day the new topic was announced.

Over the next few years, hardly a week went by that I didn’t enter the challenge, and not a day passed that I didn’t spend a few hours (at least) chatting with my new family on the message boards. I learned the ins and outs and do's and don't's of writing. My skill was honed in the iron-on-iron give and take of God’s family.

Early successes in the writing challenge, followed by long spells of failure, interrupted occasionally by a brief spike or two, cultivated discouragement. Discouragement bred anger, and apathy followed on closely its heels.

“Return to your first love.”

Yes--I want to go back there! When writing was fun and not a burden. When I rose up to meet the challenge instead of shrinking in fear of failure and rejection. When I didn’t need to schedule time for writing--I scheduled everything else around it. Return to the FaithWriters message boards where love runs deep and relationships follow suit, instead of the shallow, two minute life updates that Facebook conveniently offers.

I want to get excited again.

I couldn’t keep following this train of thought without finding and reading the Word that kept whispering to me. Return to your first love.


In His Revelation to the Church, Jesus, through the apostle John, counseled the Church at Ephesus: “Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.” Revelation 2:4-5a

For sure, the Ephesians were faithful followers of Christ. Their boundless labor and perseverance for the Lord showed their belief. But Jesus said they had ‘forsaken their first love’ – the passion that kindled, sparked and was blown into flame with their first anointing of the Holy Spirit. The love and desire and pure faith that had driven their works.

I don’t mean to literally equate my relationship with Jesus to that with FaithWriters, but I can use the same application for both. And as I studied the letter to the Ephesians in Revelation, the spiritual side of that parallel became as evident in my life as the writing side.

“Return to your first love.”

It was clear that, in addition to my writing, I’ve also forsaken the passion of my fresh love for Jesus. Both relationships have lost their luster.

Talk about a double-edged sword!

With this fresh anointing, I’m going to take a long-overdue drink from the Well to refresh my love for Jesus. Then I’m taking a step on the return trip to my (second) first love.

Peace and love, and prayers for many blessings,
Cat


Catrina Bradley
"God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes." Psalm 18:24 (Msg)


Image Credits:
Pencil Pusher: Zsuzsanna Kilian
Empty Page: Iker

Whitewashed Walls - Jewels of Encouragement

God has me doing some housekeeping on His Temple - searching behind the whitewashed walls and cleaning out some garbage. It's a little scary in there, and I might need some encouragement in the days, weeks, months to come. Curious? Come have a read at Jewels of Encouragement!

Catrina Bradley
"God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes." Psalm 18:24 (Msg)

Friday Fiction: Forever Family

 I get to host Friday Fiction today!!!!!! Thank you Sara!  If you'd like to join the fun, just leave a link on the widget at the bottom of this post. If you want to read some great short stories, hop around and follow where the links take you.

This is one of my favorite stories, and I dedicate this one to my darling niece, Haley M., who has a HUGE forever-family of her own.

Blessings!
Cat



FOREVER-FAMILY

"Julie, honey-child, what's wrong?" Evelyn pulled her reading glasses off her nose and let them dangle from the silver chain around her neck. She set her Bible on the little table to her right and beckoned to the sniffling, weepy child fidgeting in the doorway of her sitting room. "Come tell your Grammy all about it."

Four-year old Julie stumbled across the room into her Evelyn's waiting arms. "They won't play with me. They're mean!" She wailed into the older woman's ample bosom.

"Ssh, now, shh." Evelyn took Julie into her lap and stroked her dark curls, rocking, murmuring, and cooing, until Julie's sobs subsided into hiccups. She sat the child upright and put a withered palm to each side of her face, wiping her tears away with crooked thumbs. "Now, tell Grammy what happened."

"I don't have anyone for me. The boys won't let me play with them, and Tammy and Sue have each other and they ignore me, and the big girls don't want to play at all, and I don't have anyone. They're all having fun and no one wants me. They don't like me."

"Nonsense. Of course your cousins like you."

"NO! They don't. They tease me and call me names and laugh at me and run away from me. I hate them." Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks.

"Now, child, 'hate' is strong word. You may not like how they're acting right now, and that's ok, but I don't want to hear you say "hate" about your family."

"They're not really my family. I don't have no family."

Evelyn pulled a few tissues from the box on her side table. "We are your family now--your forever-family--and we all love you. Here, wipe your face and blow your nose. I'll tell you a story about another forever-family."

Julie rubbed her cheeks and honked into the tissues, then handed the crumpled wad to her Grandmother. Evelyn set it aside and pulled the soggy girl close, setting her rocker in motion.

"Many, many years ago, a long time before my own grammy was born, there lived a man named Abraham. Now, God knew Abraham was a real special man, a real good man, and God loved him. So much so that he called Abraham His own child.

"All of Abraham's life, he lived to please God, and so, when they were very old, older than your Grammy, God blessed Abraham and his wife, Sarah, with a baby. Can you imagine? And they named that baby Isaac.

"God had big plans for Isaac. Isaac had lots of children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and he taught all of them about God and how special their family was to Him. Most of them loved God, too, and God considered all of Abraham and Isaac's family His children. In fact, God even renamed Isaac and his family Israel, which means the children of God. They were His chosen people.

"But see, God loved all the people in the world and He wanted all of them, not just Isaac's family, to be His children. So He made a plan to adopt them all."

Julie looked up at her Grandmother with wide eyes. "Dopt? Like me""

"Yes, honey-child, just like you." Evelyn brushed Julie's tangles away from her flushed little face. Love poured out of the older woman's warm, green eyes. "You know who Jesus is, right?"

"Jesus is God's son and He died for my sins. I learned that in Sunday School."

"That's right, child." Evelyn kissed the top of her head and hugged her. "That was God's plan--for Jesus to die. But that was only part of His plan. God made Him alive again. Raised Him right up from the dead."

"Why, Grammy" Why'd He do that""

"So we'd believe He was real, that He loves us THAT much. And so we'd love Him."

"But what about the doption?" Julie squirmed around to look at her grandmother.

Evelyn chuckled. "I'm getting there. See, the best part of God's plan was this: He said that anyone who believes that God's son Jesus died for their sins, that He rose from the dead, well, God said he would adopt them and make all of them His children, too. We'd all be his forever-family."

"Wow. Mommy and Daddy said they could only pick one kid to dopt and they picked me. God dopted everybody?"

"He'll adopt anyone who believes in Jesus, yes. Pretty neat, huh?"

"Yeah, Grammy, that's real neat." Julie's little brow wrinkled and Evelyn could see her processing this idea. "God must have an awful big house to dopt so many kids."

"Indeed He does, child, indeed He does. But that's a story for another day."

© 2008


Add your link here!


Catrina Bradley

"God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes."
Psalm 18:24 (Msg)

Friday Fiction: Poetry Sampler

I know it's FICTION Friday, but I decided to do something radical and post a smattering of my poetry. I like to write poems - I'm not claiming to be an expert or anything, don't get me wrong, but I've got a lot of thoughts saved in my poetry file going to waste. I thought I'd share a few here today. Some are silly and fun, some I tried at imagery, but all are from my heart. (Oh, and they also remain unedited from when I typed them out.)

_______________

INSIDE OUT STORM
6/2/11

Rumbling and booming and blinding flashing light
Attack the black night
Rain hovers above the bloated opalescent clouds
Lying in wait for the command to fall
From a distended and suffering sky

Sighing, humming, rustling
Whispers in the leaves on distant trees
Tickle my ear
A breath of air sails in
A gentle melody
Caresses my skin
Refreshes my suffocating spirit
The wind’s whispering escalates
A crescendo of gusts and gales
Steals my breath.

Deafening crash!
Blinding flash!
Night is turned inside out
Black is made white
And this light
Is scary evil threatening
Hairs stand at attention
Mocking me

Springing to my feet
Freezing in awe and fear and
Go! my instincts scream
My feet are loosed from their concrete snares
A panicked dash
Cover and safety so near
And I go
For cover and safety
But still
Outside
The sky rumbles and flickers and flashes
But I am safe
Inside.



RAIN RAIN
9/20/11

Pitter patter pitter patter
Rain rain rain rain
Dusty dustbowl parched dry land
Drinks in soaking falling rain
after
Months and months and months
Of drought and dry and rainless days
Arid plains cry out their praise
For rain and rain and rain and rain

Pitter patter pitter patter
Rain



REDNECK PRAYER
12/22/11

Dear God, You know I knowed it,
But still I went and blowed it.
So here I am to fess up.
Will you forgive my mess up?
Again?
Amen.



HOLD ME CLOSE
(song lyrics - the tune came with the words as I wrote. If I could write music, I'd add the notes. :) )
11/8/11

Hold me close Lord
I want to drift away in you
Hold me close, Lord
My tired spirit needs renewed

Into your arms
I fall, Lord
Into your arms, Lord
You call and
I fall
Into your arms

Don’t let me go, Lord
Don’t let me squirm from your love’s breast
Don’t let me go Lord
My spirit craves your Love’s sweet rest

Into your arms
I fall, Lord
Into your arms, Lord
You call and
I fall
Into your arms

How can I move, Lord
When I’m too tired to lift my feet
Where do I go, Lord
when I can’t find the rest I need

Into your arms
I fall, Lord
Into your arms, Lord
You call and
I fall
Into your arms





ODE TO ELLEN
(Like many of my writings, this last one I didn't finish. The tears blinded me and the heartache was too deep. I meant to, but then it all came true and I couldn't do it.)
8/10/11

I’m planning tonight what to pack
Cuz I’m coming to see you tomorrow
To say goodbye
Knowing that goodbye means the next time I see you
I’ll need a black dress
And a sweater to ward off the chill
Of the air conditioned sanctuary
And the sorrow
Burrowing into my bones
And making me shake
When I see you again.

The mostly black summer dress with white designs
The one I wore to church on Sunday
Is tasteful and it fits
And that cardigan I have
The smooth knit one with the jewel buttons
And shoes
My shoes with the heels.
Shoes.
Don’t forget the shoes.
Shoes.
Selah

Tears have worn rivets on my cheeks





I hope you enjoyed this peek into a poet-wanna-be's secret files. Please visit Karlene's blog, Voices, to read some GREAT fiction (look in the comments on her story for links) or to post your own link. The more the merrier when it comes to Friday Fiction!

Have a BLESSED day!
Cat

Catrina Bradley
"God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes." Psalm 18:24 (Msg)

Submision Isn't a Four Letter Word

In my walk with Jesus, I struggle with obedience to Him. Giving up control of my life. Letting Him call the shots and following where ever He leads me. I kind of like being in control. Oh, you too? Really? I'm glad I'm not alone.

Please join me in welcoming Zeke Lam to Scattered Seeds today. Zeke is the founder of Submission Ministries and author of "subMISSION: Heeding Only His Voice." (more on "subMISSION" at the end of this post.) I'm looking forward to reading this book! (I would guess that God is probably looking forward to me reading it too.)

Now, here's Zeke!

Spiritual Greatness
by Zeke Lam

A typical discussion concerning the word “greatness” will tend to revolve around one concept: earthly success. If one attains significant material wealth, elite athletic status, or maybe even popularity in social media, then no matter how he/she arrive there, they may be considered great. The discussion we are about to embark on is not designed to bash the concept of greatness from an earthly perspective. There is certainly nothing wrong with success, but the point to consider is simply this. Worldly greatness is always relative, therefore rendering it debatable. Spiritual greatness is divine, therefore making it irrevocable.

Let me explain with this illustration. The 2011 World Series champions walked off the field carrying the title of “greatness”. The runner-ups did not and carried the title of “loser”. However, from the perspective of a college athlete even the runner-ups would be considered great. Why? Those “runner-ups” are playing at a level that he only gets to lay in bed and dream about.

Consider the same World Series illustration. The champions that year were heroes right? Yes, to baseball fans and followers of the game. Many people around the globe consider it a shame to tie the word greatness to a group of men who are good at hitting a round ball with wood stick.

As you can see, from an earthly perspective, greatness is always relative and debatable. In Christ, our identity is not subject to debate. If we submit to His voice and obey His Word, we position ourselves for spiritual greatness. A greatness that accompanied by the approval and love of God will spark national revival. This status however is not attained by certain accomplishments or achievements. It is acquired by operating daily in a manner that submits ALL your authority to Jesus Christ and follows His voice.

Read Luke 7:6-10 for a great illustration of this topic:

Now Jesus started on His way with them; and when He was not far from the house, the centurion sent friends, saying to Him, “Lord, do not trouble Yourself further, for I am not worthy for You to come under my roof; for this reason I did not even consider myself worthy to come to You, but just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I also am a man placed under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to this one, ‘Go!’ and he goes, and to another, ‘Come!’ and he comes, and to my slave, ‘Do this!’ and he does it.” Now when Jesus heard this, He marveled at him, and turned and said to the crowd that was following Him, “I say to you, not even in Israel have I found such great faith.” When those who had been sent returned to the house, they found the slave in good health.

To have Jesus say of your faith that it is the “greatest” He has seen in all Israel is a monumental statement. What did the centurion do to merit such a comment? Was he a marvelous commander? Was he a popular leader? Perhaps, but these reasons had nothing to do with this lesson on spiritual greatness. It revolved around the fact that this man of authority had to relinquish his power so that the authority of Jesus could do the miraculous and bring healing to his friend. Despite his ability to give orders, the centurion was faced with a situation beyond his capability. As he submitted to the authority and power of Christ in this situation, he positioned himself for spiritual greatness. He witnessed and was a part of something that went beyond the scope of human possibility.

If you and I desire to witness and accomplish things that go beyond the possibilities of man, we must submit EVERY area of our lives to Christ. Whether this is on a baseball field, or the mission field, this level of submission will position you for the spiritual greatness!

(c)

_____________________________________________________________

ZEKE LAM is the founder of SUBMISSION Ministries—a ministry devoted to seeing lost souls encounter God and live lives fully surrendered to the risen Christ. A graduate of Liberty University, Zeke’s deep passion for following Christ’s will has led him through many years of youth ministry and itinerant evangelism. Both of these experiences have enriched and fueled his desire to hand others the keys to a Christ-centered life. Zeke resides in Virginia with his beautiful wife, Kathleen, and a growing family of future world-changers.

3. ISBN-13 978-1-9374-8100-1
4. ISBN-10 1-9374-8100-X
5. Author website
http://submissionministries.org/
____________________________________________________________

What is the greatest challenge that the Church is facing today? Zeke Lam suggests that one word is the greatest challenge: submission, or the lack thereof. It is not external forces that nullify the testimony of a Christ-centered believer, but rather the failure to humbly submit to the voice of the Lord. This book will help you to live a surrendered life abiding in Christ.

• Is the approval of God more important to you than the approval of man?
• Is the presence of God evident in your life?
• Do you fiercely protect your intimacy with Christ?
• Do you desire to live a life of truth, free from the lies of the devil?
• Is God’s divine character visible to those around you?

Learn how to submit your life wholeheartedly to the Lord so that you can dwell continually in the secret place—a place of intimacy, surrender and joy.

Prepare to be stirred by this authentic calling to return to Scriptural obedience.
—Pastor Gabe Turner, The Point Church of Charlottesville, Virginia

In my opinion Zeke has laid his finger on the defining message for our time. This message is essential for believers everywhere…
—Eric Stephens, Pastor of Life Changing Ministries and Fellowship in Sugarland, Texas

Catrina Bradley

"God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes." Psalm 18:24 (Msg)

Love is a Verb!

Today, on Valentines Day, we celebrate LOVE. Do you know what REAL love is?

Does it look like this?

Or this?

Maybe. But not necessarily.

I have the honor of being Jennifer Slattery's guest today on her blog,
Jennifer Slattery Lives Out Loud,
and you guessed it, I'm writing about love.

Come find out why
LOVE IS A VERB!!

Be blessed in God's Love today!

Catrina Bradley
"God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes." Psalm 18:24 (Msg)

Friday Fiction: The First Appointment

I've been battling the Block Monster, as evidenced by the dust bunnies in the corners of my blog, but I did manage to enter the FaithWriters challenge last week for the topic "Employment". I'm not disappointed at the bottom-rung results in the standings - my goal recently has been to WRITE more than to succeed. And in that goal, I AM a success.  :)

Love and Blessings,
Cat

--------------

THE FIRST APPOINTMENT

Andrew Beaumont's first meeting today wasn't going to be pleasant. Still, he smiled. His old bones creaked in harmony with the old chair squeaking as he settled in behind his desk, hooking his walking stick on the brass drawer-pull. The framed documents hanging on the wall opposite his desk were crooked...again. Yet the smile did not leave his lips.

Gladys’ gift with a dust rag hasn’t dimmed, but her sights have shifted a little off kilter as we’ve aged.

From this distance, he couldn't make out the words on the treasured communiques. No matter; he could recite them by heart.

On the left, his first dismissal notice, AKA pink slip.

Dear Mr. Beaumont,

Blah blah platitudes...

Blah blah gratitudes...

Your writing talent and your drive cannot be denied, but we hope you will agree that the content of your articles is better suited for a different publication...

And so on, etc.

In other words... “see ya later, we won't miss you or your Jesus. Hope this small severance will make up for our stony hearts.” Andrew recalled storming in outrage, and plotting retaliation with the Sword of his words.

Ah, pride, you ugly old dog. That was the last time you bit me.

Thanks to free computer use at the public library, Andrew struggled through the long, lean months to come writing ad copy and freelancing wherever he could find acceptance.

The article that had cost him his first job was not forgotten. Andrew edited and tweaked and prayed and rewrote, and submitted to dozens of publications “more suited” to his message.

And rejection letters trickled in.

Sending it to the next magazine was lark. A giving-up-of-sorts on the world. A complete abandonment of all reason. Or a response to the Holy Spirit's prodding. He had no faith in his ability to be good enough for them. But he did it.

And in return for giving up, he received the prize. Acceptance.

The right-hand frame held another letter Andrew had memorized.

Dear Mr. Beaumont,

Your article submission has been received and reviewed by our editorial staff. We are pleased to tell you we have chosen to publish “On the Eve of Destruction” in our October issue. We invite you to...

Finally. Someone appreciated his efforts. No, not just “someone”– the crème de la crème of Christian publications. And the writer’s dream – a contract for more.

Andrew chuckled at the memory of his prideful prayers of thanks.

You and I have come a long way. Thank you, God.

He finally gazed upon the culmination of his career, the pinnacle on the pyramid of diplomas: his promotion to Editor in Chief.

Today, Andrew Beaumont was the one holding the power to change a life.

A glance at his watch told him time was nigh for his first appointment. A talented young writer in his employ had submitted an article whose subject matter was more suitable for a much different publication. And today, Andrew Beaumont was the one with the chance to show him a different Way.

He took a moment to ask for wisdom and for words that would encourage and edify. A knock at his office door cut short his prayer.

Okay, God. Let’s go fishing.


© 2012

Friday Fiction is at Vonnie's blog, "My Back Door". Come on over, the door's open and the coffee's on!


Catrina Bradley
"God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes." Psalm 18:24 (Msg)