In the Throes of Nonsensical Hysteritude

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IN THE THROES OF NONSENSICAL HYSTERITUDE

(A work of fiction by the mother of the bride-to-be)




May 19, 2013


My darling daughter,

You simply must forgive me.

Surely you of all people know I how treasured the anticipation that drove my adrenaline to levels dangerously high as the months, weeks and days leading to the moment you were to wed your life's love; your soul mate; your other half, crept along, snuck up, then suddenly, without warning, sprang upon me and caught me inexplicably unaware. Quite simply put: when the moment finally arrived, I was overcome.

That my inappropriate and unfortunately-timed breakdown betwixt the Pastor's pronouncement of holy matrimony and your blessed first kiss caused such disruption mortifies me to no end, but when the wailing ambulance sirens eclipsed the Pastor's oratory, and the flashing red lights strobed through the thrown open doors and illuminated your white bridal roses, I fainted dead away for your reputation's sake, thus causing even a greater stir.

I can never atone for preceding you down your own marriage aisle, albeit lying prone and unconscious upon a stretcher, but I pray you will allow me to proceed once again into your presence that I may enjoy the company of my beloved daughter and my new son.

Your ever loving and beseechingly humble,
Mother


Author's note to her darling daughter: No worries, my love. I don't truly foresee this happening. As long as I remember to take my medication.... mwahahahahahahaaha!!!

Catrina Bradley
"God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes." Psalm 18:24 (Msg)

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